NFL Week 2: Lessons Learned

Well, Week 1 is in the books, and we've learned a lot already. Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers, and Drew Brees are really really good. Peyton Manning is kind of important to the Colts. The Steelers won't win many games if they have as many turnovers (7) as points (also 7). Tony Romo can still steal defeat from the jaws of victory. And, it is hilarious when Ron Jaworski accidently swears on Monday Night Football.
Anyway, let's take a look at the Week 2 games, discuss what we've learned, and pick some winners (and by pick, I mean guess).

Kansas City at Detroit
Chiefs - They've got a long way to go to get back to the playoffs if they continue to play defense like they did last week. They gave up almost 400 yards to a Bills offense led by Ryan Fitzpatrick, Fred Jackson, and Steve Johnson. I think the Bills made up all three of those names. They sound like characters from The OC.
Lions - They'll compete for a playoff spot if QB Matt Stafford stays healthy. Stafford, who has missed 19 games in the last 2 seasons, looked like the real deal while throwing for over 300 yards and 3 TDs last week.
The Pick - I'll go with the Lions here unless Stafford sprains his ankle walking out for the coin-toss. Then my pick automatically switches to the Chiefs.

Oakland at Buffalo
Raiders - The Raiders have long prided themselves on being an intimidating bunch. Their fans dress like dangerous-looking lunatics, and the franchise in general seems to enjoy being labeled as scary outlaws. Well, after their Week 1 win over Denver, there is no doubt that their most intimidating player is their kicker, Sebastian Janikowski. Old Sebass booted a league record 63-yard field goal, and would definitely win any kickers-only royal rumble. Or hot dog-eating contest.
Bills - After an impressive Week 1 shellacking of the Chiefs, Buffalo has convinced me that they'll win 6 games this year instead of 5. It's a start I guess.
The Pick - I'm going with the Bills in this one thanks to the always dangerous west coast team (Oakland) flying across the country to play a 1pm game on the east coast. It always seems like it takes the west coast team two quarters to wake up and realize it's not 10am.

Tampa Bay at Minnesota
Bucs - They'll need to win this one to stay on track for a playoff spot. After falling to the Lions last week and a tough divisional game against Atlanta next week, Tampa Bay needs this one bad.
Vikings - Donovan McNabb will be the key to the rest of the Vikings' season. Despite 160 rushing yards last week (including 98 on just 16 carries for Adrian Peterson), Minnesota lost because McNabb threw for 39 yards. Yes, 39. He played the entire game. If Donovan can be average, the Vikings will compete.
The Pick - Tampa Bay. I say McNabb is done. He's as cooked as the Chunky Soup he's been selling for years (zing...thank you, thank you).

Chicago at New Orleans
Bears - They'll keep the pressure on the Packers for the NFC North title all season. Their defense is still good, and despite how much fun it is to pick on Jay Cutler, he's still a good quarterback. You know, as long as you're ok with a QB who may or may not have faked an injury in a playoff game because he didn't want to play anymore.
Saints - They will make a Super Bowl run. They lost last week on the road to the defending champs by one score while gaining more yards and more first downs. Aside from the Packers and Patriots, the Saints might be the most dangerous team in the league.
The Pick - New Orleans. I can't see the Saints starting out the year 0-2.

Baltimore at Tennessee
Ravens - Joe Flacco will have a career year. He's got the weapons that he's been missing. Ray Rice is one of the most complete backs in the league. Ricky Williams is a perfect backup because that pothead still can run. Lee Evans gives them a deep threat at receiver that they've never had. Their still dominant defense will give him plenty of support. And, if he wins a league MVP looking like Bert from Sesame Street, then I might have to quit watching football.
Tennessee - Chris Johnson needed to practice instead of skipping all of training camp waiting for a new contract. The league's leading rusher last year gained just 24 yards on 9 carries in last week's loss. That's not good enough.
The Pick - The Ravens win big for the second week in a row as they shut down Johnson and make 35-year-old Titans QB Matt Hasselbeck consider retirement at halftime.

Cleveland at Indianapolis
Browns - Another year, another season, another sport, another lousy time in Cleveland. When you lose your opener to a team who used a red-headed rookie QB and his backup named Gradkowski, you're in for a poor season.
Colts - Obviously the Colts weren't going to be as good without Peyton Manning, but wow. And the news on Peyton is not encouraging. He might miss the entire season, and if he does the Colts won't win more than 6 games. Lucky for them, this might be one of them.
The Pick - I'll go with the Colts just because it seems stupid to pick a team from Cleveland to win anything ever.

Jacksonville at NY Jets
Jags - Forget their Week 1 win over the Titans. They're still bad. The Titans are just worse.
Jets - They won't be as good as some people, including themselves, think they will be. They should have lost last week. If not for a blocked punt returned for a TD and a gift wrapped fumble from Tony Romo on what would have been the clinching Cowboys TD, the Jets would have lost. Offensively, they couldn't run the ball, and Mark Sanchez was still shaky. And their vaunted defense looked incredibly mediocre while giving up 24 points and over 300 yards passing.
The Pick - The Jets. Last week's close call should have them coming out hungry for this game. I know their coach will be hungry anyway.

Seattle at Pittsburgh
Seahawks - Tarvaris Jackson will not last more than 4 games as Seattle's QB. He fumbled 3 times, was sacked 5 times, and threw a pick last week. His only chance? The fact that his backup, Charlie Whitehurst, looks like the Biblical Savior and not a football franchise savior.
Steelers - The main thing we've learned so far about the Steelers is that Big Ben was a better QB as a sleezy single scumbag than he is as a married man. Lucky for Steelers fans, I think Ben still has a lot of scumbag hidden deep down just waiting to get out.
The Pick - The Steelers big.

Arizona at Washington
Cardinals - Kevin Kolb will make the Cards offense respectable again, but that defense needs work. They gave up over 400 yards passing to Cam Newton in Newton's very first NFL game. Not a good sign.
Redskins - They'll be competitive all year, and put up a fight each game. That's a step in the right direction for this franchise. The defense is solid, but they still need more playmakers to be a serious playoff contender.
The Pick - I'll go with the Redskins just because of the west coast traveling to the east coast for an early game thing.

Green Bay at Carolina
Packers - They will be scary good on offense this year. Aaron Rodgers is playing out of his mind, and they're healthier than they were at any point during last season. As a Steelers fan, I don't like any of this. My only consolation: Rodgers once grew this mustache. It doesn't make him a worse QB, but I do think it makes him a worse person.
Panthers - Cam Newton doesn't have as much to learn as all the experts said. Coming in straight from college from a system that was nothing like the NFL system he is being asked to run this year, Newton looked every bit the star he was in college. Despite the loss (Newton's first since junior college over 2 years ago), Cam threw for over 400 yards and 2 TDs in his debut. Not bad.
The Pick - Packers in a blowout. Poor Cam better get used to losing because the rest of his team isn't that good.

Dallas at San Francisco
Cowboys - We learned this long ago, but it gets proved over and over again: Tony Romo is a loser. He puts up flashy numbers, throws for a lot of yards, and then loses the game. Last week, another perfect example as he fumbles on the 1-yard line on what would have been the TD that iced the game for the Cowboys. Instead, the Jets get the ball and complete a 14-point 4th quarter comeback .
49ers - They'll compete for the division title if they can get anything out of their offense. San Fran dominated Seattle for the entire game last week but needed a kick return and punt return TD to seal the game thanks to just 209 total yards of offense.
The Pick - The Cowboys will win. Even Romo will do enough to outscore this 49ers offense.

San Diego at New England
Chargers - They'll run away with the AFC West. The Chief will crash back to earth after last year's playoff run. The Raiders and Broncos are still no good.
Pats - They'll be the team to beat in the AFC just because of Tom Brady. They'll be able to put up points on anyone. They'll probably win 12-14 games. They're probably the early favorites to reach the Super Bowl. And I hated typing every sentence of that. To make myself feel better, I'm posting this picture of Brady going down a water slide just because it makes him look like a sissy.
The Pick - Pats. And I won't be happy about it.

Houston at Miami
Texans - This is they're year to finally make the playoffs. The Colts are Manning-less, and the Titans and Jags are talentless.
Dolphins - Chad Henne might not be hopeless. He threw for over 400 yards against the Pats and ran for another 60. Add in Brandon Marshall and Reggie Bush and the Miami offense suddenly looks somewhat explosive. Losing to the Pats on Monday Night Football is nothing to be ashamed of. Having people like this as owners is though.
The Pick - I'm going Texans.

Cincinnati at Denver
Bengals - We learned they can beat Cleveland. Big deal.
Broncos - We learned they can't win a home game against the Raiders. Bad sign.
The Pick - Who cares? The Broncos I guess.

Philly at Atlanta
Eagles - We confirmed that until Mike Vick gets hurt they'll score a lot of points.
Falcons - We learned that they aren't an elite team yet. Elite teams don't get blown out by average teams that start Jay Cutler at QB. Lucky for them, every other team in their division lost, so at 0-1 they are currently tied for the division lead.
The Pick - I think the Eagles win, and the Falcons look like they might be in trouble.

St. Louis at NY Giants
Rams - We learned that injuries aren't going to make this tough early schedule any easier. QB Sam Bradford missed time in last week's game but is hopeful to play. Star running back Stephen Jackson is hurt again and might not play. And after this week: Ravens, Redskins, Packers, Cowboys, and Saints could mean5 straight losses. They need this one bad.
Giants - They aren't going to be a factor this season. The Eagles and Cowboys are clearly better within the division, and they just lost to the Redskins making them on pace for a last place finish. On the bright side, Eli Manning is finally the best Manning playing football which has never happen before.
The Pick - Rams. They need this one.