NFL Week 9

It's Week 9 in the NFL, and that means we're over halfway through the season. In the first half of the season, we've seen some interesting things. The Packers are still undefeated. The Dolphins and Colts still haven't won. The Bengals have followed a red-headed quarterback to a 5-2 record. The Bills, yes the Buffalo Bills, are ahead of the Patriots in the AFC East. The 49ers lead the NFC West at 6-1, while the rest of the division is a combined 4-17. There's been a good half and a bad half. Let's look at each team's good and bad from the first half of the season.

NY Giants
Good Half - They're 5-2 and lead the NFC East while no other team in the division has a winning record.
Bad Half - They lost a home game to a 2-win Seattle team. That can't be a good sign.

Eagles
Good Half - They've won 2 straight and are in top of the league in almost every offensive category.
Bad Half - They're just 1-3 in games decided by 7 points or less and have blown 4th quarter leads in 3 of their 4 losses.

Cowboys
Good Half - Their 4 losses have come to the Jets, Lions, Pats, and Eagles - all likely playoff teams.
Bad Half - At 3-4, making the playoffs is going to be difficult.

Redskins
Good Half - They started out the year 3-1 and in first place in the division.
Bad Half - They've now lost 3 straight, and a guy named John Beck is their quarterback.

Packers
Good Half - The Pack is 7-0 and seem to be the clear Super Bowl favorite.
Bad Half - Aaron Rodgers grew a terrible mustache this season. That's about the only bad thing that has happened to Green Bay so far.

Lions
Good Half - Detroit is 6-2 and in position to make the playoffs for the 1st time since the Great Depression.
Bad Half - They can't run or stop the run, and old men say that's how you win in the playoffs.

Bears
Good Half - QB Jay Cutler hasn't cussed out his coach on the field in over a week.
Bad Half - They won't catch the Packers, they may not catch the Lions, and they have to play Philly, Detroit, San Diego, Oakland, and Kansas City in the next 5 weeks. That's a tough stretch.

Vikings
Good Half - Adrian Peterson is still awesome. So they've got that going for them.
Bad Half - The trade for Donovan McNabb worked horribly, and they have no chance to make the playoffs this year.

Saints
Good Half - The Saints are in first place in the NFC South, and Drew Brees has them leading the league in passing yards.
Bad Half - The just lost to the Rams, and Drew Brees in 2nd in the league in interceptions thrown.

Bucs
Good Half - At 4-3, Tampa is still in the hunt for a playoff spot.
Bad Half - They play the Saints, Texans, and Packers in the next 3 weeks, combined record of 17-6.

Falcons
Good Half - Same as the Bucs, still in the hunt for the playoffs at 4-3.
Bad Half - Only 1 of their 4 wins has come against a team with a winning record, so I don't know how serious of a contender they can be if they can't beat good teams. But, they'd be big favorites in the Arena Football league.

Panthers
Good Half - Cam Newton has been better than anyone could have expected. He's 2nd in the league is passing yards and can definitely be a franchise quarterback.
Bad Half - Everything else.

49ers
Good Half - San Fran is 6-1 and has a 4 game lead on the rest of the pathetic NFC West.
Bad Half - Are they really going to make a Super Bowl run when their passing game depends on Alex Smith throwing to guys like Josh Morgan and Delanie Walker?

The rest of the NFC West - Seahawks (2-5), Cardinals (1-6) & Rams (1-6)
Good Half - One of these 3 teams has to finish in second place in the division.
Bad Half - They all still have to play the 2nd half of the season.

Bills
Good Half - Buffalo is in 1st place in the AFC East ahead of New England. What is this 1993?
Bad Half - Buffalo is a depressing city, and if anyone can blow this lead it'll be the Bills.

Pats
Good Half - The Pats are 5-2 and will stay at the top of the AFC for the rest of the season.

Bad Half - The Steelers just showed how to slow down that pansy Brady, and a-hole Belichick seems to lost a little bit of his magic touch.

Jets
Good Half - The Jets have a winning record, and 2 of their 3 losses were to the Pats and Ravens, which are respectable losses.
Bad Half - They haven't won a road game yet, and they have only beaten 1 team with a winning record.

Dolphins
Good Half - The season is halfway over.
Bad Half - They still have half the season left to play.

Steelers
Good Half -  They finally beat the Pats, lead the division, and have shown flashes of being one of the most explosive offenses in the league.
Bad Half - Hines Ward, Aaron Smith, James Harrison, Lamar Woodley, James Farrior, Casey Hampton, and every offensive lineman on the roster is hurt.

Ravens
Good Half - They have a big win over the Steelers and should be in the division race until the end.
Bad Half - Baltimore lost to the Jags and fell behind by over 20 points to the Cards before squeaking by for the win. Struggling with Jacksonville and Arizona is not something a good team should do.

Bengals
Good Half - Somehow with a rookie QB, rookie star wideout, and a history of sucking, Cincinnati is tied with the Ravens for 2nd place in the division.
Bad Half - The Bengals still have to play the Steelers and Ravens twice apiece which could cause their season to come crashing back to earth.

Browns
Good Half - Even at 3-4 and in last place, those 3 wins make them the current most successful franchise in Cleveland.
Bad Half - Those 3 wins have come against Miami, Indy, and Seattle. So, they really shouldn't count.

Texans
Good Half - Houston is leading the division and looks like they will finally get over the hump and make the playoffs for 1st time in franchise history.
Bad Half - Aside from their win over the Steelers, Houston hasn't exactly beaten up on good teams.

Titans
Good Half - Tennessee has a winning record, which most people didn't expect.
Bad Half - They just paid Chris Johnson a ton of money, and he promptly stopped being good.

Jags
Good Half - They may have found a good young quarterback to build around in Blaine Gabbert

Bad Half - That good young quarterback looks like the gay quarterback from Remember the Titans.

Colts
Good Half - If they continue to be this bad and don't win a single game, they might get the 1st draft pick next year and be able to get QB Andrew Luck, who experts are calling the best QB prospect since Peyton Manning. If he's that good, they could go on a 30-year streak of having the league's best QB.
Bad Half - Besides Manning, the rest of the Colts must feel like garbage. They have almost the entire same team back from last year's playoff team, and now that can't win 1 game.

Chiefs
Good Half - They're on a 4-game win streak, just beat the rival Chargers, and could win the division again.
Bad Half - They started the year on a 3-game losing streak in which they were outscored by a total of 109-27.

Chargers
Good Half - San Diego is tied for the division lead and is in the top of the league in almost every major statistical category.

Bad Half - All of those things mentioned above were also true last year when they missed the playoffs. Also, their crybaby QB Philip Rivers fumbled a snap to lose the game last week.

Raiders
Good Half - For the first time in years, they have a legitimate shot at winning the division.
Bad Half - Oakland decided their savior at QB would be Carson Palmer. They traded multiple 1st round draft picks for him. In his first game, he completed 8-21 passes for 0 TDS and 3 INTs.

Broncos
Good Half - They have won 2 games. They've also sold a ton of Tim Tebow jersey that will be on Goodwill shelves in 2 years.
Bad Half - Everything else. They can't play defense. Tebow throws like a girl. Bad times all around.

MANLY MAN of THE WEEK - Jamaal Bass

You might be wondering who Jamaal Bass is. Let me tell you. Bass is a redshirt freshman linebacker at Northern Illinois. What did he do to become Manly Man of the Week? Well, Northern Illinois played a nationally televised game against Toledo Tuesday night. While running onto the field before the game with his teammates, the Toledo marching band got in Jamaal's way. Those trumpet carrying nancy-boys learned that you don't get in Jamaal's way, especially if your a member of the opponents band. Jamaal jumped into the air and delivered a flying elbow to a member of Toledo's band knocking the band member to the gorund. Now, Jamaal was suspended for next week's game for his actions. His university apparently did not appreciate him beating up opposing teams' bands. However, he showed that he meant business Tuesday night, and if you got in his way, whether you were Toledo's quarterback, running back, or tuba player, there was going to be hell to pay. And, let's be honest, those band kids don't get picked on enough. The jocks need to rough them up a little bit from time to time, so the band doesn't walk around like they own the school.